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Something
We Ran Across!!
How do
you know when you getting older? Did we miss any?
- Everything hurts, and what doesn't
hurt, doesn't work.
- The gleam in your eye is from the
sun hitting you bifocals.
- You feel like the night before,
and you haven't been anywhere.
- Your little black book contains
only names ending in MD
- You get winded playing checkers.
- Your children begin to look middle
aged.
- You finally get to the top of the
ladder and find it's leaning against the wrong wall.
- You join a health club, and don't
go.
- You begin to underline enthusiasm.
- You decide to procrastinate, but
never get around to it.
- Your mind makes contracts your
body can't meet.
- A dripping faucet causes an uncontrollable
bladder urge.
- You know all the answers, but nobody
asks you the questions.
- You look forward to a dull evening
at home.
- You walk with you head held high
trying to get used to your bifocals.
- Your favorite part of the newspapers
is "5 Years Ago Today."
- You're turning out lights for economic
rather than romantic reasons.
- You sit in a rocking chair and
can't get it going.
- Your knees buckle and your belt
won't.
- You regret all those mistakes resisting
temptation.
- You're 17â around the neck, 42â
around the waist, and 96 around the golf courses.
- You stop looking forward to your
next birthday.
- After painting the town red, you
have to take a long rest before applying another coat.
- Dialing long distance wears you
out.
- You are startled the first time
you are addressed as "old timer."
- You remember today that yesterday
was your wedding anniversary.
- You can't stand people who are
intolerant.
- The best part of your day is over
when the alarm clock goes off.
- You burn the midnight oil after
9:00 P.M.
- Your back goes out more than you
do.
- A fortune teller offers to read
your face.
- Your pace maker makes the garage
door open up when a pretty girl goes by.
- The little gray-haired lady you
help across the street is you wife.
- You get your exercise acting as
pallbearer for you friends who exercise.
- You got too much room in the house,
and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
- You sink your teeth in a steak
and they stay there.
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